Motherhood

The best job ever! And the hardest job ever!

You have to selfishly give A LOT, which is completely against our human nature. You have to eat cold food, while sometimes wearing it ;). You have to change diapers and eventually (at least hopefully) wipe bottoms. You have to wipe snotty noses. You have to discipline even when it's not fun and when it's so hard to do. You have to say the same thing over and over and over. 

But...

You get to read lots of  children's books. You get to make cookies with a great helper (and eat the batter too). You get to sit and snuggle and receive lots of hugs and kisses. You get to have tickle fights and laugh until you can't breath. You get to play hide and seek over and over again. You get to pretend that you are a frog chasing a bear. You get to play games and puzzles. You get to see them learn new things and cheer for them. You get to pray for them. You get to be their biggest encourager. You get to tuck them in bed.

I guess as a mom you get the good and bad of it all. And as if raising a toddler can't be discouraging enough (at least on some days), we have this culture out there telling us that we are doing it all wrong.

breast or bottle

schedule or no schedule

epidural or no epidural

co-sleep or sleep train

disposable diapers or cloth diapers

working mom or stay-at-home mom

public school or private school

homeschool or not
home birth or hospital birth

cry-it-out or not

pacifier or not

thumb or not

make their baby food or buy their baby food 

3 day potty training or 7 day potty training

and I could go on and on.

Our culture makes it hard enough on us with all of this information. Either we are not doing enough or doing too much. Why as moms are we making it harder on ourselves and playing this comparison game? Seriously, it is RIDICULOUS!!!

I have had 4 conversations over the past 2 weeks with several different moms. Brand new moms, moms with kids not longer at home, toddler moms, and soon to be moms. And one thing that we all agree on is the amount of comparison that goes on. IT. IS. CRAZY!!!! Part of it is that there is too much accessible information for us. But then there is a certain peoples out there that feel their way is the only way and they need to not only share that, but boast on it as well. And it makes me so sad that there are too many of us out there that spend more time worrying about what the next mom is doing instead of worrying about what is best for our kids and family. We are all different and for some reason we have a hard time embracing that.

In case you were not aware, but God made us ALL different. Not one of us is the same. So why do we spend so much time comparing ourselves to each other and even worse comparing our kids to each other (don't even get me started on that subject)? I am not talking about having a conversation with your dear friend where you discuss different techniques on how to get your child to stop throwing food across the room. Or the ones that you ask for advice on what to do when your child throws himself on the ground screaming. I am talking about those conversations that you have with other moms about the fact that "my child slept through the night at _ weeks, when did yours?" And yes, I have heard it presented as, "haha, look what mine did!"

I had a conversation with a mom earlier this week about how much more this comparison issue our culture has comes out when you have kids. It's so sad and makes me want to just stay at home and never go anywhere just so I don't have to deal with it, or confront it.

Comparison is a struggle of mine, but from my conversations recently, I have come to realize that I am not the only one. And while it may not be your struggle, I do hope that we learn to give each other a break. Each of us are going to do things different (even when it is somewhat similar), and we need to respect that. There shouldn't be any of this "I do/did it this way and that is the best." Because not only is this mother job hard, we don't need anyone else making it harder by saying, "our way is not the best way or right way."

We need to be lifting each other up and encouraging each other. 

Every mom is different. Every baby is different. Every family is different. 

Embrace the differences and help each other out on this most amazing and wonderful, but hard journey!!